A Good Day

Ahhh...Monday. First day of the week. Such a nice day isn't it?

Normally, Mondays suck. They just suck.

This morning, however, I woke up at 5:45 to a wonderful summer thunderstorm. Rain was pouring and there was some thunder rumbling in the background. As I sat on my balcony to have a cigarette it just felt like a good day.

I went in to work for a few hours this morning. I didn't have a lot I needed to do today, and I got it all accomplished in relatively short order and then went to lunch with my work group to celebrate two birthdays.

After lunch I came home, checked my e-mail, and headed out the door for my "make-up" appointment with my therapist.

You see, about six weeks ago, I just knew I had an appointment on a Wednesday afternoon. So I called in to confirm the appointment. The girl that answered told me I was not scheduled.

I was.

So, when I didn't show, the main nurse decided that since I'd skipped an appointment, that she would delete the rest of my standing appointments.

Two weeks later when I called in to confirm my appointment for that week, I was told that I did not have ANY appointments scheduled. At that point I asked for the main receptionist that I always deal with and got the whole story.

So, she scheduled a make-up appointment for me...and it was still two more weeks out.

Today, after six weeks, I returned to my therapist's office. He told me he had been afraid that I'd given up. I told him it had been a simple misunderstanding between myself and the new receptionist.

He told me she's already been fired.

So, I'm back in the game. Had a longer session than usual, but felt awesome upon leaving.

I've decided that I know why therapy works for me. I can figure most of this stuff out on my own. I can tell myself why I feel a certain way and why I'm reacting the way I am. However, I don't quite believe myself. Then, 99% of the time, my therapist validates for me what I already knew but wouldn't or couldn't quite believe.

And then I feel better.

I feel better than I have in weeks.

And he told me it was okay that I can't seem to cry. He told me to stop trying and it will hit me when I least expect it.

I hope it doesn't happen while on line at the bank. That would just be embarrassing.

Had dinner with my friend Tim tonight. Had a lot of fun.

Now I'm back from my drive...sitting here thinking about tomorrow.