Pat Robertson - King of Batshit

"This is the second time in a row that God has invoked a disaster shortly before lesbian Ellen Degeneres hosted the Emmy Awards," Robertson explained to his approximately one million viewers. "America is waiting for her to apologize for the death and destruction that her sexual deviance has brought onto this great nation."

Who knew that Ellen Degeneres' Vagina was so powerful.

We should all be afraid...very afraid...

Ellen obviously has it in her power to bring about the destruction of our entire world.

Hey Pat, maybe you should ask the goverment to assassinate her?



(okay...so he didn't really say this...it was an onion-like parody article...but it totally sounds like something he would say, doesn't it?)